The Forever Endeavor

1 + 1 = 4

Fetus Talk May 29, 2008

Filed under: 1st Trimizzle — katecosby @ 3:08 am

I know what you are thinking. Please don’t let it be another blog post about Kate throwing up….I can’t take it anymore. Well too bad! In movies they always show women puking when they find out they are pregnant, but they don’t show how they puke EVERYDAY for 56 days straight. I’m here to challenge the years of misleading media on the subject.

The above picture shows my latest attempt to stop the flow…the sea-band. I will give you a full report later.

So here’s another topic of conversation for the blog: What do you say to a 9 week old fetus?

Cougar Dan became a fetus last week (woot!). And as he’s passed out of his embryonic phase my overwhelming fear of having a miscarriage (and having to post it on this blog) has passed somewhat. (Picture me now simultaneously knocking on wood and crossing myself) and I’m starting to believe I actually might be pregnant.

At first it just felt like my boobs are pregnant…or my esophagus was pregnant (another allusion to puking). But more and more I’m feeling like I have a minuscule stow-away and I’m curious about how to go inside (metaphorically) and say hello. I know women talk to their babies all the time in utero…and little Cougar D is developing his little ear buds right now. But what to say…beyond “hello” and “nice to meet you” and “please have your father’s patience and sense of humor”?

So here’s a fun opportunity for an open forum. What would you say to a 9 week old fetus? Speak loudly so his little ear buds can hear you!


Fertilizing Indigenous Plants May 23, 2008

Filed under: 1st Trimizzle — howiecockrill @ 5:38 am

MVI_1467, originally uploaded by howiecockrill.

Kate & I took a beautiful & exhausting road trip yesterday down the east coast of Maui.

Our plan was to head to Hana, fabled census-designated-place tucked away behind 18 waterfalls, 45 avocado trees and 843 breath-taking vistas.

But as the saying goes, the Road To Hana is paved with sugarcane water. No wait, its paved with peacocks. Oh wait – its paved with GOOD INTENTIONS.

We didn’t quite make it to Hana. In fact – we only made it about half way down the treacherous, often one-lane, cliff side drive that was straight out of a Pontiac “We Build Excitement” commercial.

But we had loads of fun swimming beneath waterfalls, eating fresh banana bread and breathing in the fresh Hawaiian air.

Amidst all the excitement and possibly inspired by the Simple Minds song, Little Coug was not about to let us forget about him on this lovely day.

Kate swung back and forth on the pregnancy pendulum, sometimes giddy with excitement, sometimes peekid & sleeping beneath a palm tree or throwing up on indigenous plants.

Mahaloha! (That’s Hawaiian for thanks-bye)


Babymoon May 20, 2008

Filed under: 1st Trimizzle — katecosby @ 11:12 pm

Howie and I are on our first full-on, romantic, island vacation. We’re currently on Maui in a small condo with a nice working kitchen and a balcony with a view of the beach (if you lean over the side and crane your neck to the left). We originally envisioned this trip as a Cougar-making event. But Cougar Dan made an early appearance so now there’s nothing to do here but sit on a sun-drenched beach and dream about our future.

So far I have been a little sick on this trip but I am growing accustomed to the discomforts of the first trimester so they are less worrying than they were at first.

All this yacking has reminded me of our friend Daimian. Daimian is like the Don Quixote of Drinking: he prides himself on his tolerance to alcohol but is cursed by a weak stomach. Yet I have never seen a man who more cheerfully disposes of his breakfast after a night on the town. He especially delights in puking in the great outdoors. Like outside of restaurants or on my front lawn. I guess ralphing in nature serves the same purpose as peeing in nature…it reminds you that you are a man.

In my early stages of pregnancy and especially on this vacation, I am striving to be more like Don Daimian. If 9/10ths of your experience is your attitude…then why not try to have a good attitude? Luckily I have a husband/partner who is willing to joke and tease about my pregnancy symptoms and who has a high gross-out threshold. A slight attitude adjustment and supportive communication can get you through just about anything right? Bring on the BIRTH!


Just so you don’t think that our entire vacation is being taken up by discussions of where the closest bathroom or banyan grove is…here are some other highlights.

Our first day here we went to the beach and laid in the sun until we got too warm and then we hopped in the ocean. The water is the perfect temperature for cooling off and it’s so salty that we feel positively buoyant. I’m reading a really terrific novel that I found in our condo. It’s by Baladucci and got rave reviews from the discerning book critics at USA Today. Howie’s reading a book about the music industry.

After the beach we watched reruns of ‘Project Runway’ until Howie suggested that we go to Lahaina where we ate spicy buffalo wings and saw more of the coastline. Then, we found the most amazing public beach ever. There were actually two beaches one that was huge and another that is more of a cove. The cove one appears to be both gay-friendly and clothing-optional. Which reminds us to congratulate California on the landmark ruling to allow gay men and women to get married. We’re so proud of our state!!!!

More later…and pictures. Lots of love, Kate and Howie


Inside the Cougar Den May 15, 2008

Filed under: 1st Trimizzle — katecosby @ 10:47 am

Howie and I had our first Gyn appointment yesterday. The good news is that me and Cougar D seem healthy and normal. The bad news is that I’m earlier than I thought so I have more first trimester to look forward to. The above picture is an ultrasound. The black is my amniotic sac. I have circled the wee embryo. And yes, we witnessed the little fluttery hummingbird of a heartbeat. Ah…nature we weep at your splendor.

In other news…constipation.

!Viva la Cougar Dan!


Happy Mother’s Day May 13, 2008

Filed under: 1st Trimizzle — katecosby @ 2:40 am

Evidence that I have a very good mother. May the last paragraph cheer you as much as it cheered me.

Dearest K,

I can’t say I remember the emotions of pregnancy that much but I do know a lot about challenging emotions.

What one chooses to eat can have a big impact. You are on a roller coaster of hormonal increase, i suggest deleting as much as possible all forms of homones your body is not making. I suggest eat organic meat, cheese, milk only be careful what seafoods you eat, use Natalie’ list and aviod scavengers (ie., scallops).

Use organic and if you can get it, raw milk. Try greek yogurt by FAGE, it is a real, cultured yogurt with lots of good didestors (Delish!)

NO soybeans or soybean products, most are GMO and all have phytoestrogens.

Looking for a nurturing carb? Buy organic whole or steel cut oats. Throw some in a pot at night; cover with water; Rince in the AM; Cover with water and cook for about 15=20 mins. So chewy and nourishing. Add yogurt/ milk or butter and maple syrup, maybe some pecans and raisins. Yum!

When I equivocate about buying organic anything b/c of the price … i remember that, overall, organic foods have 25% more nutrients than conventional. Plus a lot of pesticdes really mess with hormones. Do you have a list of the dirty dozen and the cleanest bunch in your wallet?

Breakfast is the nutritional foundation for the whole day. Getting enough to eat within 2 hours of rising, esp. protein, can set up your whole emotional day and eating pattern day.

Look at the palm of your hand. The size and thckness indicate the size of your protein serving for lunch and dinner. Now add up to the first knuckle. That’s the size for Breakfast. NOW add Cougar Dan! Try 2 -3 eggs, a strip of unprocessed bacon, a handful of spinach, 1 cup oats and decaf tea. Sounds like a lot. Well, think of yourself as a cow in a field. Pick the choicest morsels, chew thoroughly and enjoy the sunshine.

Organic Animal fats are good for you and essential for Cougar Dan. Rule of thumb – Use Extra virgin olive oil or butter for table use; Cook with butter (low temp) or unrefined organic coconut oil or lard (pork/bacon fat) (higher temp). Do not use oil with the word refined. When cooking, if oil/butter smokes, throw it out and start over (it has turned into a transfat.)

Eat lots of raw and cooked whole organic vegetables and fruit. One modest glass of organic or boidynamic red wine is good.

No caffeine. Caffiene miscues the adrenals and messes with the brain. It is destabilizing.

Lastly, I’m sure you will eat some processed foods, that’s Ok. Just don’t count them as food/nutrients. Sugar, bread (sprouted grain is ok), cake, muffins, chips, pasta, fruit juice, crackers, french fries, popcorn, cold cereal…. Eat ’em but DON’T COUNT ‘EM. That may give you a temporary full feeling but there not fueling your body engine. You could just as well eat the box.

Very Lastly, You come from good maternal lines. Grossmom, Nanny, Nana, Sally and I all carried our babies easily. Our pregnancies and births were unremarkable. No C-sections. Most of us nursed (except Nana) and had plenty of milk. That first little bit we all felt tired and queasy and at term everyone feels, well, big and uncomfortable. The middle months are awesome. You come from good stock. This will be a fun and deeply atisfying journey. As the days pass you will feel better and better and more and more beautiful. Pamper yourself.

This is a wildly, exotic time. Give your belly a lovey rub for me.

Love, MOM


Berkeley, California: Land of Intention May 11, 2008

Filed under: 1st Trimizzle — katecosby @ 8:50 pm

I hope that the Berkeley Chamber of Commerce picks up this phrase for their next marketing campaign. I would love to get it on my license plate.

As I have said previously on this blog, my anxiety level has been high since I became aware of my pregnancy. The questions in my head are persistent: Is everything okay? Is this normal? Why am I so tired and sad? Why does that food smell so bad? Am I going to miscarry? Am I going to be a good parent? Why did I want to become pregnant again?

If you know me, these thoughts and questions might seem a like a departure from my normal personality. Usually, I’m pretty confident and relaxed about things. I normally have a good amount of energy. And, I’m usually the opposite of a hypochondriac minimizing rather than fixating on physical problems. Recognizing my fragile mental (and dare I say “spiritual”) state, my friend Hannah decided to help me build an “altar” for my pregnancy.

Located in our middle room, which doubles as a lounge and guest quarters, the altar sits on an upside down milk crate, made smooth by a Sesame Street record and covered with red batiked fabric. Hannah brought me several things for the alter including red rose petals, St. Johns Wort, some homeopathic “Rescue Remedy” and several small objects depicting fertility. We found this beautiful bread bowl that Howie and I must have received for our wedding which is shaped like a nest. We covered the inside with white fuzzy fabric and put a cute little walnut inside.

I have never been one for meditation but going into the room where the alter now sits calms me. I like how it looks and that I helped to make it. I like that the altar is a representation of healthy pregnancy and constructing it has helped me to feel less powerless. I feel loved because my friend conceived of this idea to help me deal with my fear and uncertainty.

Oh, and on Friday night I heard from another acupuncturist friend that if I meditate at my alter once a day during my whole pregnancy, I will have a baby that never cries. That is something to believe in.


There Aren’t Enough Emoticons in the Googlesphere May 9, 2008

Filed under: 1st Trimizzle — katecosby @ 2:38 am

When Howie and I first started dating got married I was using a birth control method called the Nuva Ring. Never in my life have I experienced as many emotional ups and downs as when I was on that birth control method.

At the time, Howie and I were living in different states. I was in Atlanta, slogging my way through a low-paying job at a clinic. Howie was fighting his way through his first year of law school in Arkansas. We saw each other, thanks to Howie’s trust fund, about once every six weeks.

It was so early in our relationship and we were doing the stressful “long-distance” thing. But the worst part was that the Nuva Ring intensified my anxiety level and crushed my self-esteem. The first year of law school is hard enough without having your *new* girlfriend call you every night at 3 in the morning saying something about how she “doesn’t feel close to you anymore.” I consider the fact that Howie and I moved in together, after only dating for 8 months, a side-effect of that intense hormonal cocktail.

Since then I have been off the juice so-to-speak. I have not used a hormonal contraception for the remaining 4 years of our relationship. And I have been pretty happy. However, today I became reacquainted with my former certifiable self. All because Howie did not call me back for two hours while he was at a conference.

Several weeks ago, Howie was invited to speak on a panel this week at the MusicTech conference in Japan Town. He’s spent all week getting ready for this conference. Studying up on the use of music in blogs. I knew his talk was in the morning, so I called him after lunch to see how it went.

1:00 pm- left message

1:26 pm- texted “hey, how’d it go?”

1:30 pm-called, didn’t leave message

1:45- texted “call me!”

1:55- emailed “hey, did you leave your phone at home? Call me.”

2:05- called Law Offices of Benjamin, Weill and Mazer, secretary informed me “Howie’s not in.”

2:10- googling conference (positive howie’s dead)

2:25- call howie…he answers.

Well, (shaky laughter) it turns out that Howie’s panel went well. Oh, and I’m pregnant and apparently being pregnant is like being on 65 Nuva Rings.